Mel's Introduction:

Often it is the pending failure of that marriage which draws one closer to their soul brothers and sisters and can even brings about the advent of a Twin Soul or Near Twin. Why is this?

The pain and suffering by all those concerned in a dying marriage is often the magnet that pulls an individual toward those who can and will give them support. Twins and Near Twins are drawn together often for reasons of healing and helping each other. A break up of a marriage or long term relationship is no different than if one Twin is deathly ill and this is not their time to go Home. Often the Twin will come forward to help--such was the need and occurrence in my case and with others.

Regardless, ZZ has always been "pro-committed relationship” and desires for us to save such relationships if the saving does not result in a loss of your own personal freedoms.

  Often in marriages of long duration the individuals have drifted into their own separate worlds. Some have even become bored with their lives together and seek a more meaningful life.

"We have absolutely nothing in common anymore!"

How often have we heard these words or even thought of them at times when a marriage grows stale? (Many times) The danger is that these thoughts cause a tremendous amount of guilt to the one who is having them when it isn't totally his or her fault. You and your spouse are not the same two people who said your wedding vows so many years ago. People change as everything about them changes.

So why bother to save the marriage(s) when you have "nothing in common anymore?" Rarely is this the case in any marriage. With Caryl and I we have 66 accumulative years of marriage between us, 5 grown children and four lovely grandchildren. This is even before we consider the treasure trove of golden memories that add up.

There has to be more behind a decision to sever a relationship than just boredom. Here again, only you will know and only you can make the decision if the cost and effort is really worth it.

Let's assume the marriage (s) are worth saving, and just not worth continuing the way it is. One thing for sure, the introduction of a Twin or a Near Twin can changes the nature of a relationship--one that will give you first hand experience of what unconditional love (Divine Love) is.


      But what did ZZ have to say about all this?


Besides the guidelines given to us in "The ZZ Messages" that we turn into articles, they have been rather quiet about the subject (other than being "pro-marriage" as I said earlier.) Why are they quiet? ZZ cannot (or will not) tell us what choices we should make in this life for doing such would override our "freewill" and the experience we planned during the Before Life Planning effort that is the purpose of our incarnation. (This is how many of our articles relate one to each other and you have to consider what we have given in total, not just an isolated article.)

                Freedom is the Ultimate Expression

           Freedom is the Ultimate Expression of what? 

                                           Divine Love

This is the key to this article and should be our basis for the decisions we make with regard to others. Each of us should have the freedom to define for ourselves what is most important and from this determine if there is a continued foundation for marriage. This choice should not be made by others for us. Unfortunately, freedom is the first thing you supposedly give up when you say, "I do." I say "supposedly" because the divorce statistics of failed marriages should serve as a reminder to everyone--freedom in marriage should never be given up, regardless of the marriage vows.

Yet everyone should also be reminded, "Freedom comes with a price:" In the case of nations, that price is paid in blood by the soldiers who defend those freedoms. In marriages, it comes in the form of pain, suffering and loss from the choices we sometimes feel compelled to make. So, what freedom is worth that "price?"

For Caryl and I, that freedom is the right to work together and share our love with as many as possible through The ZZ Mission. For us to deny that we love each other would strip the very heart out of our mission. For you, it could be the right to spend time with someone else who shares your spiritual interests, and yes, for some, it may be sexual freedom. It can be many things, so where do you begin?

                  You Begin At The Beginning


You begin with your own needs and desires (as selfish as this sounds) but you come into this life to live your life and grow from the experience, not live your life for someone else (including your Twin Soul). You begin with "Divine Love: The Ultimate Expression." We suggest that you read that article again, it is a short one, so you will know what Godly Love is (not what you think it is). Then you must decide if you are going to live your life with unconditional love or something less. Pay specific attention to the quote by Kahlil Gilbran: "Love one another, but make not a bond of love. Let it rather be as a moving sea between the shores of your souls."   The Prophet

This beautiful quotation defines "unconditional love" at its finest.  You don't know how many times we have heard from individuals claiming to have met their "Twin Soul" who haven't the faintest knowledge of the kind of love that draws a Twin Soul together and keeps them together. This is why unconditional love is called "The Power of the Universe." It is what holds all things together.

If your goal is to be with your "Soul Mate" (and this includes Soul Mates--Near Twins and Companion Mates) or do anything that is of a Divine Nature (Divine Service, Divine Communion, Divine Inspiration, and yes, even Divine Sexuality) you and your Mate (at the very least) should be on common ground when it comes to the definition of Divine Love (found in the 3rd paragraph of that article).

"Divine [unconditional] Love comes from God 
[1] without conditions, 
[2] without expectations, 
[3] without possessiveness, or 
[4] exclusion of others." 

This is the love we must have for each other and others.

                              Foundation of Love


We know now from "The Incantation of Numbers" that 4 has a special significance or meaning. It is a "foundation." The Foundation of Godly Love is:

•  No conditions -- place no conditions, demands on others that they have to meet in order to receive your love. Love is Free. Love others as they are, for Who They Are. Don't try to change them.
  

• No expectations -- place no expectations on others that they have to meet in order to receive your love. (Very similar to that above)
  

• No possessiveness -- do not try to possess the other, they are not "yours," they are a free soul who shares their life with you for as long as it serves you both. Try to eliminate the words "my," or "mine" (as hard as it may be) until you get that point. Something may be "your car," "your home" or "your boat, but not "my wife (or husband)" or even my Twin." Such shows "possession." They are free individuals, not "things."
  

• No exclusion of others -- also closely related to the above is the acceptance that the "significant other" in your life (wife, husband, or Twin, Near Twin) will have others in their life (as you will). How they choose to include others into their love is totally up to them (not you). Only you can decide for yourself. Be satisfied with being included in their love and remember…

Love is like a fragile butterfly--it is held gently with an open hand, it is not clasped tightly. To do so crushes the life out of it.

Only when you reach this level will you understand what God expects of us in the way of love for each other.

             Your Own "Declaration of Freedom"

If you cannot reach an agreement on all four points with the significant other (Twin, wife, or husband, or other) in your life there is no point in proceeding further. If you do not agree with the Foundation of Love, then you are not ready for a spiritual relationship--especially with a Twin. A Soul Mate relationship and particularly a Twin Soul relationship will come to you when you have reached the proper level of spiritual maturity, perhaps in the next life.

So, what is the "Next Step?"

             The Next Step: Other Considerations

Before you are ready to introduce your Twin or Near Twin to the "significant other" in your life, you need to have at least considered a few other things. You should consider the spiritual or religious foundation of your Twin. Again from a look at our emails to The Voice this seems to be the last thing people consider. You need to know the religious and spiritual beliefs of your Twin from the onset. Some of our visitors seem to think that their spiritual belief is strong enough to carry both of them. It doesn't work that way.

As Caryl likes to say, "you both should be on the same page," meaning one should not be a devout follower of a dogmatic fundamentalist religion, while the other believes in the "unconditional love" of spirituality. Read all the articles on this site, and soon you will be able to participate in group discussions with others in our Chat Room as soon as we get a new one installed.

Know the "Twin Soul Myth." Before you throw out the old, and bring in the new, it is best to "look before you leap." If you have bought into "The Twin Soul Myth," and convinced yourself that your Twin Soul or Near Twin relationship is "The One Perfect Love" we suggest you put on the breaks and rethink a bit.  To believe such, and introduce such an individual to a significant other, wife or husband of a flagging marriage, what is the message you are unconsciously sending to that spouse?

You are saying "The Perfect Love" will make the "Perfect Wife or Husband" and where does that leave them? Second best (if that much). You have already defeated your chances of preserving your marriage if that is your initial intention. Even if saving your marriage is not your intent, you have set your Twin or Near Twin up on an impossibly high pedestal and fairly well doomed your relationship from the start. In some cases Twin relationships can be “The Perfect Love” but not necessarily the only love. When you have achieved this level of inclusion you will understand. God loves us all, and if we love as God loves—without condition or restriction, then there is no single One. If you have drawn your Twin to you, you will also inevitably draw a slew of Near Twins to you, men and women that you will love because you always have, you are just meeting anew in this life.

But if you persist in the idea that your Twin Soul or Near Twin is yours alone, you are not mature enough yet for this kind of relationship. You are attached to Romantic fantasies. So, if you want a chance at convincing your spouse that the Twin Soul relationship is not the end to your marriage, and that you have a Spiritual Mission that you and your Twin are set on, be sure to involve your spouse (s) if they so desire.

But what if we don't have a "Spiritual Mission ?"


A "Spiritual Mission " is about serving others with the Love that God has given you both freely.

Many are finding themselves drawn to the "The ZZ Spiritual Mission" and find their place of service within as Earth Healers and spiritual healers as part of the ZZ Healing Team -- which is all done on line from your home.  Some help in other areas that interest them. You don't have to be "a joiner," (most of us at the spiritual level that would be reading this  aren't). 

When giving of your service within the ZZ Mission--you are not following us. We are ZZ's Speakers and we speak for that Source—it is Zeb and Zarna that we all look to. Many share our dreams for the spiritual future of humanity and the restoration of Gaia, and help by making the ZZ dream their dream.

All of this should be considered before the "Getting To Know You Phase" where you introduce the spouse(s) to the Twins. I keep putting that in the plural for it could well be that both Twin Souls are married to others and want to involve their spouses with not only The Mission, but getting to know your Twin and his or her spouse.

                                  Getting To Know You

Don't expect too much from this first meeting, especially if the spouse might consider the Twin as their competition. In fact, don't expect anything at all--just let it happen. Depending on the initial level of resistance, their reaction may range anything from what ours was--warm and cordial expressions of the love that includes the spouses, to a fiery encounter that should have never been set up. One thing is to try and make everyone feel truly included in whatever interests them. To make them feel excluded or not wanted is a positive assurance of failure.

Discuss your intended Spiritual Mission with your spouse—but the twins should not in the spouses presence focus on each other.  The focus should be on the dream, not the players. Take one step at a time and even then it may be an impossible challenge, but at least you must try.

Good Luck. Our love and understanding will be with you as will our desire for your happiness. You cannot make positive changes in this world unless you are willing to take a look at yourself.  

Changing the world begins at home.

With Our Love,
Melvyn Caryl © 12/23/05

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